Sunday, January 22, 2012

Bad Words: 140 Alternative Ways to Cuss Politely

I was raised by parents who didn't believe in saying dirty-words.  I think I heard my dad say "damn" once or twice in my entire life, but he usually emphasized his point with "shoot," "Dang-it," or "Darn-it!"  When he was mad, he was "ticked" or "chapped" and when he hammered his thumb with one of his tools (which was often) he would shout, "son-of-a-biscuit-eater!" We didn't use Jesus or God's name in vain, we said "jeez" and "gosh." And if we had 'acceptable' family cuss words they were, "crap" and "ca-ca."  In fact, I hadn't realized potty-talk was so controversial until I was an adult and one of the parents of a child I was sitting requested I not use it in front of their kid (never-mind that she and her husband practiced prolific profanity on a daily basis). 

I suppose curse words are culturally and morally relative and vary in potency from person to person. For instance, I was never allowed to say the alternate word for urine. And as much as I hear my Christian friends use the "p" word in their daily vocabulary, I still cant bring myself to say it.  I was taught that it takes more intellect to be creative and not use profanity, that even mentally-challenged people know how to cuss. But since I've grown-up, I've realized some situations necessitate the power that swear-words evoke--when used sparingly and in the right context, of course. I think my parents understood this need as well and perhaps that is why they allowed us to use curse-word euphemisms.  

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The Incidental Family Menu Board

I'm no domesticated engineering genius but I sure am proud of my little creation...

Unfortunately, I am a Stay At Home Employed Mom, which means I have to split my attentions betwixt Real Estate matters and homemaker duties. I used to be pretty dang awesome at the wifey-mom stuff before I started bringing home some of the bacon. Now I'm scrambling just to stay mediocre at it. So, this chart became a necessity. 

Before you slather me in all your gooey praise for my lucky stroke of brilliance, allow me to take it down a notch or five and admit this calender was actually birthed out of my detest for the question "what's for dinner?"  You may as well shave my fingertips through a cheese grater than blurt those whiny, presumptuous words in my ears. I hate them almost as much as the phrase "I'm bored." Deciding what to make for dinner requires planning and motivation. Neither of which I give any forethought until one of my starving kids deliriously begs "what's for dinner?"  By then it's usually around 7PM and the S.A.H.M. in me feels a slight hunger-pang of empathy for the child so I answer, "food!"  And out of guilt, I'm finally forced to think about it. Ugh.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Kaden's "Angel" Day

Sunrise: Septemper 12, 2003
Sunset: January 4, 2004

It's been eight years ago today since my baby boy died. Whenever this day comes, I feel like I should say commemorate him...preserve his memory...continue his legacy. But the reality is, I don't know what to say. No words are worthy-enough.  So some years I don't say anything. Honestly, I don't know what good it will do or why it even has to 'do' any 'good'.   I don't want to be melodramatic, I don't want pity, I shrivel at that kind of attention. Fact is, I celebrate Kaden every year on his Birthday. (He is 8yrs, 3mo and 3wks old now, btw.) That is always a happy day for me. 

There is nothing to celebrate today. After all, this day is not really not about Kaden. It's a glaring stamp in time that more represents me, my family, and what we're missing.  A child we'll never get to love on, make memories with, or watch grow into a man. I struggle with this day because it shouldn't be about me. This is his anniversary, it's Kaden's 'Angel Day'.  In my mind, this day is monumental. So, if  I'm going to 'go there' and mention my son, I expect the world to stand down and take notice of him.  If  I say anything, I only want my words to give more purpose to his short little life...but then again, it's not my job to define it. Kaden already has purpose, it doesn't matter whether you or I will ever understand what that is, exactly.